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Table of Contents
Introduction: How to Get Your Food Spit In
Our server is AWFUL!
Waiting Tables is a LOT like being a hooker.
How I got sucked in, part 1
How I got sucked in, part 2
Training your soul away.
NEVER close the doors.
Don't let your children pee on the floor.
Five Ways to Avoid a Wait.
The Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting Your Food Spit In
Top Ten Complaints Heard in Restaurants and the Reason They Aren't as Bad as You Think
Five reasons secret shoppers are evil.
Quite the Year So Far
I haven't been posting much lately. My Mom moved into a retirement home cause she couldn't live on her own anymore and my brother contacted colon cancer. T...
Nobody Fucks With Us
It’s twenty-four hours after my daughter was born and our hospital room is filled with balloons, stuffed animals and well wishers coming to see that yes, I...
The Slightly Cranky (Former) Waitress
Release the hounds!
Last night was a pretty typical pizza delivery night except my very last delivery. I knocked on the door and heard several dogs barking on the other side, ...
Server Not Servant
Yelp Responds to Flagging of “Ugly Pizza Box,” 1-Star Review
This is why people REALLY hate Yelp. When I posted about the Yelp review by ”Nikki R.” who awarded 1-star to a Boston restaurant because they gave her an “...
Bond with your chef. Learn the menu. Understand the clientelle. Know how to use the equipment. Taste. Be polite to the wait staff. Treat your kitchen s...
Fuck My Table
The Oatmeal Is Fucking Awesome
I have read The Oatmeal for quite a while now. Well over a year, maybe two. I have always enjoyed Inman’s crazy style and humor, but now… But now he has ju...